DidiBahini (Sisters)

Since moving to Nepal, one of the first things I have noticed is how central family is to every aspect of life. The family is the core social unit upon which society is built. Families here rely on each other for social and financial support as well as caregiving. There aren’t nursing homes in Nepal, but instead families care for one another through the end of life. In the hospital, it is the family that provides food, linens, and personal care. If physical therapy or any other therapies are routinely needed, the family is briefly trained and expected to provide for their loved one. This is not a chore, but inherent to their way of life.

In Nepali families, the birth order often determines the role of each child in the family. The oldest son is responsible for caring for the parents. Even after the son gets married, the parents still live with him and his wife, which probably doesn’t sound too appealing to many daughters-in-law. The younger sister (bahini) often is the servant in the home, doing most of the cooking and cleaning. She wakes up first, goes to bed last, and generally, eats after everyone else and cooks more if needed.  

In Western cultures, it seems more desirable to be younger. However, in Nepal, increasing age correlates with increasing respect. As you can imagine, I am beginning to really appreciate being a didi (older sister), although my unmarried status would be a little problematic.  I am particularly grateful as I live with my friend Christine, who is younger -- my bahini. Not only is this more culturally appropriate than living alone in a family-centered culture, I now get to enjoy both her company and her service. =) Thankfully, Christine loves to cook and would probably win if she competed on MasterChef. (Thanks Betsy for sending along the application!) Those of you who know me know it probably wouldn’t go so well if I were the bahini….

Regardless, it is good to be in Nepal with “family.”